I have just had a missing week.  On Monday we got a call to say that my grandmother had fallen during the night – at that time it really could have gone one way or another but we all decided best to travel just to be on the safe side.  We saw her on the Monday night and decided to call in the next day and see how things were and if she was the same then we’d head home as we both had work on the Wednesday.  No, she had deteriorated over night so there was no going anywhere.  Slowly her breathing became shallower and shallower and with everybody around her she died at 15.35.

Unfortunately we counted the days wrong and thought that she would be buried on Thursday and we’d travel home on the Friday but a day was sneaked in and so she wasn’t buried until Friday -the day we had to travel home – ’cause himself was due to work on the Saturday (today).

Nan nan came home on the Wednesday and was laid out until Thursday and taken to the church that evening.  So for most of Wednesday & Thursday we were at a lose end – I didn’t particularly want to be there too much so we went off driving.  I’ve had the car since January ’08 and I think the amount of driving done in it since then equals the amount of driving done in the past week.  So I’m trying to see that as the silver lining for what really could have been the week from hell.

I don’t know – I still can’t believe that she has finally gone.  That sounds a little bit weird but in a way Nan nan has been gone a while – she had dementia for a few years and in a way was no longer herself (well to me anyway).  Now unfortunately her physical presence is gone.  I am happy that I didn’t see her in the coffin.  I saw her in her hospital bed and I saw her laid out in her bed.  There was a coffin in the hearse and then it was brought in and brought back out and in a way they weren’t associated with Nan nan.

During the Mass I did the first reading and I managed to get through it so I’m pleased with that.  Himself was one of the coffin carriers and he did a wonderful job – he always has a good shoulder.

So it’s Saturday mourning and I’m at home and himself  is at work and life seems to be continuing on as if last week never happened.  Unfortunately it did – I’m heartbroken but I have 30 odd years of brilliant memories.