Month: August 2024

Bloggage · general · Home

Saturday Success

MsWalshLeave a comment

I’ve been looking forward to the weekend ever since Thursday. That’s when the wind down started. I did my weekly food shop, and there’s only one more day of work to get through. Yesterday, when I got home from work, I changed to bedding – I also upped the duvet tog. Naturally this meant that it’s heated up again. However the notion of cosy has beaten being slowly roasted for a week or two and the duvet stayed. Saturday’s Plan was get up and get stuck in and then just relax – sounds normal.

Well, normally, I plan to do something similar – but I get up have breakfast and the next thing I know is it’s almost midday. I get washed and dressed, have a sit down and suddenly it’s 4pm. I mean seriously – how does that happen?? Where does the time go to??

Not today! While I was having breakfast, I washed the bedding that was taken from the bed last night (it really was too late to put on a wash), got it dried and put away. If I managed to do that alone it would have been a good day. HOWEVER, I made a list! This consisted doing a few things in the Living room, Bathroom, & Bedroom. Whenever I do a list it gets to be a meh – as if it’s all optional. This time I’ve tried to stick to it – to make sure that these are the things I get done. I think it has helped that this time I haven’t overwhelmed myself with things. Bt 4pm today, I’d tidied the livingroom, cleaned up the bathroom and picked up stuff in the bedroom – I’d even swept the leaves from outside of the front door!!

I know this might down daft, but when I look at the livingroom – it doesn’t look that different but it still feels different. Is it the sense of accomplishment that has made the difference? I don’t know. What I do know is that I can now sit down and relax!

Another thing I was looking forward to and this is just odd – I was looking forward to a ham,cheese & tomato sandwich for my lunch. WHY??? I think it definitely falls into the category of “notion”. So that is what I had for lunch – and it really did just hit the spot. In addition to that – I made soup – I’m obviously expecting it to get cold any minute now.

Expecting the cold to arrive definitely explains why I have this on the telly:

Bloggage · craft · Holidays · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography

Self Confidence / Self Belief

MsWalshLeave a comment

I’ve been trying to unpick this for a while and I’m not really getting anywhere, so I think I can say this is going to be a rambling.

I went on holiday recently and although I brought my camera but I didn’t take photos – well I took 4 or 5 but it was more a figuring out how to use the camera type of photo, not a photographing something for my memories.  Why??

I think that if you were to meet me you would not think I am shy – my mother sent me to the Girl Guides and drama classes in the hopes that it would help, it did in a manner of speaking.  But I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to be noticed, doesn’t want to take up too much space.  I can’t handle criticism and I definitely don’t want praise.  The people who are most likely to do either, are people close to me, if they criticise I feel I have let them down and if they praise, I feel it’s too biased (we’ve all seen those talent shows where the parents think their child is the best thing since sliced bread, when they obviously aren’t).  I’ve also been a victim of the “Oh you should photograph this, no do it this way” by people who aren’t actually taking photos.  I say victim…. and yes, I’m busy trying to find my own way, but people in all of their oblivious good will, have steered me off of my own course and made me doubt myself.  I’m thinking, why is what I was doing not right? Why can’t I just turn around and say it’s of no interest to me, why don’t you take the photo?  Mind you that last sentence wouldn’t even have occurred to me a few years ago, I’d have just been a sheep being leeched of self-confidence.  Ok I have never said that sentence but at least it has occurred to me.

I also think that I have a slight touch of the autism – I haven’t had a diagnosis and I’m not interested in one, I am what I am and I work within my limitations.  One of those limitations is, I find it difficult to create.  I can recreate, that’s no bother ( again within the limitation of talent ) but initiating almost puts me into a paralysis – I know I want to do something but it’s behind frosted glass.  Because of this, crochet is easy because it predominantly relies on patterns, cooking less so, it has recipes but I can’t adjust them, however, Photography has too many obstacles for me.  Personality, mental capabilities, talent limits all conspire against me.  

I have a good camera, so the automatic assumption is, you must be a photographer – or is that something that is just in my head?  Anyway – I’m not, when I get a good photo it’s an accident.  On the other hand I’m not looking to take good photographs – I’m looking to be snap happy on my holidays but that means being seen and taking up space.  If I want to improve, that means practice, which means going out and taking photos…

So while I have a vague idea of what is the issue – me & my head, I’m not entirely sure how to get beyond it.  I might have to start with something that could almost be pre starting-line.  I might have to start wearing the camera outside and feel comfortable being seen with it.  

(I should also point out that I’m not confident to take up space while using my phone camera either)  

Maybe I should just put my earphones / earplugs in and become oblivious to everything around me and that might help me…

(Actually that’s a rather good idea to try!)

Bloggage · general · Life

reMarkable

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I’m a stationery nut – I do like buying a new notebook for an occasion and in my book it takes very little for something to be an occasion.  However, in an effort to reduce the amount of things coming into the apartment, I decided to opt for a reMarkable paper tablet.  I have to admit that I love it but as with about 100% of all of my tech, I don’t use it to its fullest capability.  Now I do use it to 100% of my capability and I think that’s where the gap is.  Anyway, on a recent system upgrade, I spotted a picture that showed notebooks with covers – and thought oh that’s nice, how do I get those???  Well it seems that I get those from the gap between what I can do and what it can do – I’d have to draw/design them myself.  The convenient thing is that it’s possible to do on this as you don’t run out of paper – you can do it and redo it all you want ’til you’re happy – so it’s time to dip my toe into a world I have no ability in.  On the other hand it’s my tablet – who’s going to see?

There’s one other thing that I really like about this – it’s that I’m writing, not typing (although I could) but it’s writing – it’s not falling out of practice.  I don’t know why I feel it’s important to maintain a level of penmanship.

I’m rather looking forward to stepping up my usage and to see how far I can push myself.