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Decisions

This is just a small follow up from the post on the 25th of Jan – It’s time to nuke my X/Twitter accounts – I’ve two – one where I’m me and one where I’m not me and therefore a little bit more me. Yes I know that makes no sense whatsoever!  So a quick explanation – on my This Is Deirdre accounts all over the internet – there is a social circle of people I know and they know me (they think). but the thing is I have very thin skin and find ribaldry difficult.  So if I say that I like something and somebody takes the mick and makes fun of that – I’ll just never mention it again because I just don’t want to have to put up with that.  So in order for me to like what I like without have to put MY head above the parapet, I found another name and that profiles likes the things that i like without the fear of ridicule from my friends and acquaintances.  Funnily the ridicule of strangers doesn’t bother me – I just think who the hell are you – and Blocked.  So I have ME and a me in a few places. For now it’s X that’s getting targeted.  I know lots of people have deleted their accounts – well we’re all on Bluesky so a sidestep and keep moving forward – actually Bluesky (https://bsky.app) is waaay better!  I’ve kept both X accounts for different reasons – the ME account – I’m not sure why I just haven’t – I suppose it’s ’cause there are people on there that I like to follow – so yeah I’ve been reluctant – I’ve had the account for YEARS – just checked – I joined in 2009 – now in fairness I’m not a prolific user so my absence won’t make an overall difference.  I’ve had the me account since 2013 – and that was even less of a user – but this one was kept because of one single tweet I made and didn’t want to lose.   Sentimental isn’t even in it!! For the past few weeks I’ve been watching the absolute CarCrash that is America and I just can’t be part of X.  I just can’t.  Everything I’ve read has just given me anxiety – I really think that there will be boots on the ground before his 4 years are up – and the 22nd amendment will have been shredded – I hope I’m wrong – I hope I’m very very wrong.  Last night I decided it’s time – X has to go and so this morning I’ve requested my data and while I’m waiting for that to come in – I’ll go through my follow lists and see if I can find folk elsewhere.  Once my data is secured, the accounts and the apps are all going to be deleted. Like I said in the overall scheme of things it makes no difference – however it does mean that I can look myself in the eye and know that I’m taking a small stand. I’ve also downloaded all of my books from Amazon so that they are mine and not under the control of somebody else’s decisions as to what is and isn’t appropriate, what cover should be on it etc.  I think the only time I’ll be using Amazon for shopping will be to source something and go directly to the shop or the author etc to purchase.  Jeff Bezos doesn’t need my few quid (again not exactly a prolific user) but it soothes my soul.  Mind you the ebooks might be a bit of an issue – I’ll work on it. I’m also contemplating jettisoning my gmail accounts – the me & ME – so I’m investigating alternatives – for my I’m looking to go a bit more Eurocentric ’cause I’m not liking the way the Tech bros are all queuing up.  It’s making me feel a bit queasy and uneasy – so right now I’m looking at what https://european-alternatives.eu/  has to offer.  I think I don’t mind paying a minimum fee and having secured rights.  Again like I said – it’s all being looked at. Is this all a knee jerk reaction – possibly. Is it an exaggerated reaction – no I’ve long wanted to make my internet a little bit more Europe based/Europe Sponsored so it’s time – it’s the push I’ve needed.
Bloggage · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography · Rain · Weather

Encounters

Why did I let my neighbour erode my joy? Ok – scene – my apartment faces out to a carpark – that’s a spot of exaggeration – my apartment is built behind a row of houses and all the houses have their parking spaces at the back – so the view from one side of the apartment is all cars.  So headlights going on can blind you if you look the wrong way at the wrong time.  By now I’m used to it. Anyway – last year I said to a neighbour, if she sees me taking a photo of her car, I’m not really – I just like the way the headlights catch the light on the road after the rain.  If she thinks I’m being weird, don’t worry.  Now between the light changing and the weather not being what I’d like, curtains being pulled and not having a camera at the ready, I simply haven’t taken the photo – despite looking out the window several times and thinking oh that would have been nice. YESTERDAY! Yesterday I spotted that she had come back and then went out – which meant that she’d be coming back and it had been raining.  So I ran to get my camera – couldn’t get it to do what I wanted so decided the phone was probably the handiest, and all I had to do was wait for her to come back!  She came back and I grabbed my chance. As I finished she beeped, and I went out to her.  She asked what was I doing?  Of course me taking the photo means something to me – me telling her, I’ll take a photo of something, it’s not going to stay in her memory because it’s of no consequence.  So she insisted on me showing her the photo and looked at me as if I was making problems and told me I was crazy and repeated that as she walked away with an annoyed demeanour. I felt at a loss, to be told you’re crazy as in wacky fun etc is ok but to be told you’re crazy like it’s a bad thing, is not nice- it bothered me for the entire evening.  To make matters worse – it was also a rubbish photo – even by my standards.  It’s encounters like this that tend to make me go into myself, to hide away, to hide my interests, to hide who I am, to hide what I like.  So my next challenge to try and not let it upset me too much (- I won’t kid myself and say at all) I don’t take many photos for various reasons but I do love it, I wish I was better at it, in so many different ways – so the trick will be to continue to try to do the thing that I love. I know it’s just a misunderstanding – her of me and most likely me of her. This is the best I could do, out of sorts and just not feeling the love –