Category: Bloggage

Bloggage · general · Life · Mental health · Notions

What do you do, when you don’t do anything?

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I want to blog or write or whatever this is – but I don’t do anything – I’m not joking – I really don’t do anything at all!  It’s like I’m still living in lockdown.

I occasionally have an opinion on things but it’s never fully formed enough to even try to coax into words – I have been known to answer the questions “what do you think?” or “Did you like it?” with a simple yes or no.  I’m not great on expanding my thoughts internally or externally.

I do journal – but it’s very stream of consciousness – planning what i might do in the day, what will I eat etc – or trying to figure out what is causing a particular bout of emotions that are being inconvenient.  I rarely go back and do a what i did today – I write forward rather than backward.  And you wouldn’t want to be looking for world events ’cause in the journal they don’t happen.

Previously I said this was going to be a bit of a mirror for my social media – that didn’t happen but I think I might have to pull up my socks and start filling this with little bits and pieces – just snippets.

So my big news is – I bought a skipping rope, gave it a try and now my left leg feels like it’s been tortured.  I’m going to try and persist with it, as it was recommended when I went for a Lymphatic Drainage massage.

However if we know anything about me – it’s persistent and consistent aren’t always within my nature…

Must Try Harder

Bloggage · Photography · Seasons · Weather

Frosty Mornings

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For the last few days it’s been a bit cold – not as cold as it could be in fairness.

There is something so delicate about frost, everything looks blasted and could snap if you touch it.

This was taken this morning

Bloggage · Celebration · Christmas · Music · Television

New Year, Same Me

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Yes I’m sat on the sofa watching the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra’s New Years Day Concert and I’ve dug out the crochet that I told my Mam I’d do.

It really doesn’t get better than this!

Bloggage · Celebration · Christmas · Family · general · Holidays · Home · Life · purchases

The Confusion of Dreams

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Firstly a slight back story – When I was in London earlier this year, I picked up a gift for my Dad for his Birthday/Christmas. They are both in December and the second gift would dictate whether this was going to be for his birthday or for Christmas. Anyway – I came home and dutifully put it away (Can you see where this might be going??)

Fast forward 5 months and I was in the local shopping centre, spotted a shop that reminded me I had already made a purchase, but where did I put it? No, not a clue! it’s not in the places I thought it was – and I’m not going to lie, I am panicking! The up-side is that I still have slightly over 2 months to find it – so that’s ok.

Last night I had a dream that I’d found the gift and it was exactly where I thought it was – how lucky is that??? I’ve gone through most of the day with a sense of relief knowing that I’ve found the item in question. Until now that is, when I’ve just realised it was only a dream and I still have to pull the place apart to find out where it is.

I was going to make a Bobby Ewing/Patrick Duffy reference but after a conversation last week in work, I’ve realised that it’s waaaay out of date. But if you get the reference than I thank you!

Bloggage · Books · Finished Reads · Life · Links · Television

From The Thursday Murder Club (again) to Slow Horses

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I might be making a mistake with this but it’s too late now.

It’s September and with September comes comfort. The days are getting noticeably shorter and giving us darker evenings. The weather, which hasn’t been great to begin with, is slowly getting a bit colder. Dark evenings and colder weather mean the autumn TV schedule is about to kick in. It’s time to curl up on the sofa, with a blanket and a cup of tea and see what’s on the box, or dig out a good book to lose yourself in.  Tomorrow sees the return of Slow Horses, while next week we have the double delight of Strictly Come Dancing AND a new series of books from Richard Osman – “We Solve Murders” – This means I’m going to be sitting on the BorrowBox app so I can get to listen to it sometime this year.

As a lead up to these delicious comforts, I’ve borrowed  the audiobook of The Thursday Murder Club, again.  With the casting complete and the filming (presumingly) commenced, I’m not convinced it’s a good idea to have the book so fresh in my mind.  For me I find it best to have a decent gap between book and film so that the finer details can fade a little and if they are changed in the film, I’m none the wiser, and I walk away feeling happy.

I think from here on in, I’m going to try to embody Joyce, although I’ve tried and failed previously – today is always a good day to start a fresh. There is something so good natured about her and as she says early on in TTMC she’s often overlooked, which can be worked to her advantage. I’m sure I’m overlooked but I’m not sure if I can work that to my advantage unless continuing to be overlooked counts (it does). I don’t know what it is but I just really like the tone of the character – she seems to find joy in even the most mundane of things (whilst being caught up in a murder investigation…)

Re Slow Horses, I’m going to try and leave it ’til the weekend – we’ll see if that really happens. I’m entertained by the fact that I’m delaying gratification with this for the weekend but refuse to do so with the new book coming out. I suppose that’s because with Slow Horses I can give in and treat myself, but once that audiobook hits the app, it gets booked up at such a manic pace that by the end of the first day the waiting list spans years! I fully expect to see 2030 by the end of the day. It comes away pretty quickly because you listen to it and then return it – it’s rare that you would keep it for the full 21days. So every early return whittles down the waiting times. However you still have to wait your turn, unlike Slow Horses when I can just give in and turn on the telly when I want!

Watch this and tell me, could you postpone watching??    

Bloggage · general · Home

Saturday Success

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I’ve been looking forward to the weekend ever since Thursday. That’s when the wind down started. I did my weekly food shop, and there’s only one more day of work to get through. Yesterday, when I got home from work, I changed to bedding – I also upped the duvet tog. Naturally this meant that it’s heated up again. However the notion of cosy has beaten being slowly roasted for a week or two and the duvet stayed. Saturday’s Plan was get up and get stuck in and then just relax – sounds normal.

Well, normally, I plan to do something similar – but I get up have breakfast and the next thing I know is it’s almost midday. I get washed and dressed, have a sit down and suddenly it’s 4pm. I mean seriously – how does that happen?? Where does the time go to??

Not today! While I was having breakfast, I washed the bedding that was taken from the bed last night (it really was too late to put on a wash), got it dried and put away. If I managed to do that alone it would have been a good day. HOWEVER, I made a list! This consisted doing a few things in the Living room, Bathroom, & Bedroom. Whenever I do a list it gets to be a meh – as if it’s all optional. This time I’ve tried to stick to it – to make sure that these are the things I get done. I think it has helped that this time I haven’t overwhelmed myself with things. Bt 4pm today, I’d tidied the livingroom, cleaned up the bathroom and picked up stuff in the bedroom – I’d even swept the leaves from outside of the front door!!

I know this might down daft, but when I look at the livingroom – it doesn’t look that different but it still feels different. Is it the sense of accomplishment that has made the difference? I don’t know. What I do know is that I can now sit down and relax!

Another thing I was looking forward to and this is just odd – I was looking forward to a ham,cheese & tomato sandwich for my lunch. WHY??? I think it definitely falls into the category of “notion”. So that is what I had for lunch – and it really did just hit the spot. In addition to that – I made soup – I’m obviously expecting it to get cold any minute now.

Expecting the cold to arrive definitely explains why I have this on the telly:

Bloggage · craft · Holidays · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography

Self Confidence / Self Belief

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I’ve been trying to unpick this for a while and I’m not really getting anywhere, so I think I can say this is going to be a rambling.

I went on holiday recently and although I brought my camera but I didn’t take photos – well I took 4 or 5 but it was more a figuring out how to use the camera type of photo, not a photographing something for my memories.  Why??

I think that if you were to meet me you would not think I am shy – my mother sent me to the Girl Guides and drama classes in the hopes that it would help, it did in a manner of speaking.  But I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to be noticed, doesn’t want to take up too much space.  I can’t handle criticism and I definitely don’t want praise.  The people who are most likely to do either, are people close to me, if they criticise I feel I have let them down and if they praise, I feel it’s too biased (we’ve all seen those talent shows where the parents think their child is the best thing since sliced bread, when they obviously aren’t).  I’ve also been a victim of the “Oh you should photograph this, no do it this way” by people who aren’t actually taking photos.  I say victim…. and yes, I’m busy trying to find my own way, but people in all of their oblivious good will, have steered me off of my own course and made me doubt myself.  I’m thinking, why is what I was doing not right? Why can’t I just turn around and say it’s of no interest to me, why don’t you take the photo?  Mind you that last sentence wouldn’t even have occurred to me a few years ago, I’d have just been a sheep being leeched of self-confidence.  Ok I have never said that sentence but at least it has occurred to me.

I also think that I have a slight touch of the autism – I haven’t had a diagnosis and I’m not interested in one, I am what I am and I work within my limitations.  One of those limitations is, I find it difficult to create.  I can recreate, that’s no bother ( again within the limitation of talent ) but initiating almost puts me into a paralysis – I know I want to do something but it’s behind frosted glass.  Because of this, crochet is easy because it predominantly relies on patterns, cooking less so, it has recipes but I can’t adjust them, however, Photography has too many obstacles for me.  Personality, mental capabilities, talent limits all conspire against me.  

I have a good camera, so the automatic assumption is, you must be a photographer – or is that something that is just in my head?  Anyway – I’m not, when I get a good photo it’s an accident.  On the other hand I’m not looking to take good photographs – I’m looking to be snap happy on my holidays but that means being seen and taking up space.  If I want to improve, that means practice, which means going out and taking photos…

So while I have a vague idea of what is the issue – me & my head, I’m not entirely sure how to get beyond it.  I might have to start with something that could almost be pre starting-line.  I might have to start wearing the camera outside and feel comfortable being seen with it.  

(I should also point out that I’m not confident to take up space while using my phone camera either)  

Maybe I should just put my earphones / earplugs in and become oblivious to everything around me and that might help me…

(Actually that’s a rather good idea to try!)

Bloggage · general · Life

reMarkable

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I’m a stationery nut – I do like buying a new notebook for an occasion and in my book it takes very little for something to be an occasion.  However, in an effort to reduce the amount of things coming into the apartment, I decided to opt for a reMarkable paper tablet.  I have to admit that I love it but as with about 100% of all of my tech, I don’t use it to its fullest capability.  Now I do use it to 100% of my capability and I think that’s where the gap is.  Anyway, on a recent system upgrade, I spotted a picture that showed notebooks with covers – and thought oh that’s nice, how do I get those???  Well it seems that I get those from the gap between what I can do and what it can do – I’d have to draw/design them myself.  The convenient thing is that it’s possible to do on this as you don’t run out of paper – you can do it and redo it all you want ’til you’re happy – so it’s time to dip my toe into a world I have no ability in.  On the other hand it’s my tablet – who’s going to see?

There’s one other thing that I really like about this – it’s that I’m writing, not typing (although I could) but it’s writing – it’s not falling out of practice.  I don’t know why I feel it’s important to maintain a level of penmanship.

I’m rather looking forward to stepping up my usage and to see how far I can push myself.

Bloggage · Food · Home · Life

I now consist mainly of bread

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I ran out of bread yesterday and rather than going to the shops yesterday evening, I thought I’d go this morning before work.  You can take it that there was in fact very little thought given to this until about 06:30, when I realised I’d need to have a shower and wash my hair before I could emerge outside.  Anyway – Amn’t I wonderful?  that’s exactly what I did!

I decided to treat myself and rather than getting a sliced pan, I bought a loaf from the lidl bakery instead.  Apparently it’s called a “Country Loaf”, according to my receipt.  According to me, it’s just delicious.  Whether it’s a doorstep with just butter, butter and jam, or toasted with butter – it’s all good and almost all gone.  Although I will say this for one of the slices of toast, you’d swear I’d never buttered toast before – it was carnage!  It still tasted great though

Note to self: thinner slices will make it last (no they won’t)

Bloggage · Books · general · Home · Life

Slow Sunday

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This is going to be short’n’sweet as I’m just out if bed as I type this!
This morning I have done something I haven’t done in a while – I got up, made myself a cup of coffee (mug of coffee) brought it back to bed, switched on the speaker and listened to some background music and read a magazine on the iPad.  I can’t remember the last time I flicked through a magazine.  It was so worth it – I have a new recipe for tea brack and I have discovered there is a new book I want to buy, although it’s still only being written.  It seems that Joanne Harris is currently writing a prequel to Chocolat.  Mind you it seems that the kindle edition of Blackberry Wine is 99c/p on Amazon ’til the end of March – I’ll have that, Thank You Very Much!!

On that note, I’m off to sit on the sofa and watch Pride & Prejudice – the entire 1995 mini series – well what else would you be doing on a Sunday?

BTW the recipe was in the March issue of the Country  Living magazine