Category: Life

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From The Thursday Murder Club (again) to Slow Horses

MsWalshLeave a comment

I might be making a mistake with this but it’s too late now.

It’s September and with September comes comfort. The days are getting noticeably shorter and giving us darker evenings. The weather, which hasn’t been great to begin with, is slowly getting a bit colder. Dark evenings and colder weather mean the autumn TV schedule is about to kick in. It’s time to curl up on the sofa, with a blanket and a cup of tea and see what’s on the box, or dig out a good book to lose yourself in.  Tomorrow sees the return of Slow Horses, while next week we have the double delight of Strictly Come Dancing AND a new series of books from Richard Osman – “We Solve Murders” – This means I’m going to be sitting on the BorrowBox app so I can get to listen to it sometime this year.

As a lead up to these delicious comforts, I’ve borrowed  the audiobook of The Thursday Murder Club, again.  With the casting complete and the filming (presumingly) commenced, I’m not convinced it’s a good idea to have the book so fresh in my mind.  For me I find it best to have a decent gap between book and film so that the finer details can fade a little and if they are changed in the film, I’m none the wiser, and I walk away feeling happy.

I think from here on in, I’m going to try to embody Joyce, although I’ve tried and failed previously – today is always a good day to start a fresh. There is something so good natured about her and as she says early on in TTMC she’s often overlooked, which can be worked to her advantage. I’m sure I’m overlooked but I’m not sure if I can work that to my advantage unless continuing to be overlooked counts (it does). I don’t know what it is but I just really like the tone of the character – she seems to find joy in even the most mundane of things (whilst being caught up in a murder investigation…)

Re Slow Horses, I’m going to try and leave it ’til the weekend – we’ll see if that really happens. I’m entertained by the fact that I’m delaying gratification with this for the weekend but refuse to do so with the new book coming out. I suppose that’s because with Slow Horses I can give in and treat myself, but once that audiobook hits the app, it gets booked up at such a manic pace that by the end of the first day the waiting list spans years! I fully expect to see 2030 by the end of the day. It comes away pretty quickly because you listen to it and then return it – it’s rare that you would keep it for the full 21days. So every early return whittles down the waiting times. However you still have to wait your turn, unlike Slow Horses when I can just give in and turn on the telly when I want!

Watch this and tell me, could you postpone watching??    

Bloggage · craft · Holidays · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography

Self Confidence / Self Belief

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I’ve been trying to unpick this for a while and I’m not really getting anywhere, so I think I can say this is going to be a rambling.

I went on holiday recently and although I brought my camera but I didn’t take photos – well I took 4 or 5 but it was more a figuring out how to use the camera type of photo, not a photographing something for my memories.  Why??

I think that if you were to meet me you would not think I am shy – my mother sent me to the Girl Guides and drama classes in the hopes that it would help, it did in a manner of speaking.  But I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to be noticed, doesn’t want to take up too much space.  I can’t handle criticism and I definitely don’t want praise.  The people who are most likely to do either, are people close to me, if they criticise I feel I have let them down and if they praise, I feel it’s too biased (we’ve all seen those talent shows where the parents think their child is the best thing since sliced bread, when they obviously aren’t).  I’ve also been a victim of the “Oh you should photograph this, no do it this way” by people who aren’t actually taking photos.  I say victim…. and yes, I’m busy trying to find my own way, but people in all of their oblivious good will, have steered me off of my own course and made me doubt myself.  I’m thinking, why is what I was doing not right? Why can’t I just turn around and say it’s of no interest to me, why don’t you take the photo?  Mind you that last sentence wouldn’t even have occurred to me a few years ago, I’d have just been a sheep being leeched of self-confidence.  Ok I have never said that sentence but at least it has occurred to me.

I also think that I have a slight touch of the autism – I haven’t had a diagnosis and I’m not interested in one, I am what I am and I work within my limitations.  One of those limitations is, I find it difficult to create.  I can recreate, that’s no bother ( again within the limitation of talent ) but initiating almost puts me into a paralysis – I know I want to do something but it’s behind frosted glass.  Because of this, crochet is easy because it predominantly relies on patterns, cooking less so, it has recipes but I can’t adjust them, however, Photography has too many obstacles for me.  Personality, mental capabilities, talent limits all conspire against me.  

I have a good camera, so the automatic assumption is, you must be a photographer – or is that something that is just in my head?  Anyway – I’m not, when I get a good photo it’s an accident.  On the other hand I’m not looking to take good photographs – I’m looking to be snap happy on my holidays but that means being seen and taking up space.  If I want to improve, that means practice, which means going out and taking photos…

So while I have a vague idea of what is the issue – me & my head, I’m not entirely sure how to get beyond it.  I might have to start with something that could almost be pre starting-line.  I might have to start wearing the camera outside and feel comfortable being seen with it.  

(I should also point out that I’m not confident to take up space while using my phone camera either)  

Maybe I should just put my earphones / earplugs in and become oblivious to everything around me and that might help me…

(Actually that’s a rather good idea to try!)

Bloggage · general · Life

reMarkable

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I’m a stationery nut – I do like buying a new notebook for an occasion and in my book it takes very little for something to be an occasion.  However, in an effort to reduce the amount of things coming into the apartment, I decided to opt for a reMarkable paper tablet.  I have to admit that I love it but as with about 100% of all of my tech, I don’t use it to its fullest capability.  Now I do use it to 100% of my capability and I think that’s where the gap is.  Anyway, on a recent system upgrade, I spotted a picture that showed notebooks with covers – and thought oh that’s nice, how do I get those???  Well it seems that I get those from the gap between what I can do and what it can do – I’d have to draw/design them myself.  The convenient thing is that it’s possible to do on this as you don’t run out of paper – you can do it and redo it all you want ’til you’re happy – so it’s time to dip my toe into a world I have no ability in.  On the other hand it’s my tablet – who’s going to see?

There’s one other thing that I really like about this – it’s that I’m writing, not typing (although I could) but it’s writing – it’s not falling out of practice.  I don’t know why I feel it’s important to maintain a level of penmanship.

I’m rather looking forward to stepping up my usage and to see how far I can push myself.

Bloggage · Food · Home · Life

I now consist mainly of bread

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I ran out of bread yesterday and rather than going to the shops yesterday evening, I thought I’d go this morning before work.  You can take it that there was in fact very little thought given to this until about 06:30, when I realised I’d need to have a shower and wash my hair before I could emerge outside.  Anyway – Amn’t I wonderful?  that’s exactly what I did!

I decided to treat myself and rather than getting a sliced pan, I bought a loaf from the lidl bakery instead.  Apparently it’s called a “Country Loaf”, according to my receipt.  According to me, it’s just delicious.  Whether it’s a doorstep with just butter, butter and jam, or toasted with butter – it’s all good and almost all gone.  Although I will say this for one of the slices of toast, you’d swear I’d never buttered toast before – it was carnage!  It still tasted great though

Note to self: thinner slices will make it last (no they won’t)

Bloggage · Books · general · Home · Life

Slow Sunday

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This is going to be short’n’sweet as I’m just out if bed as I type this!
This morning I have done something I haven’t done in a while – I got up, made myself a cup of coffee (mug of coffee) brought it back to bed, switched on the speaker and listened to some background music and read a magazine on the iPad.  I can’t remember the last time I flicked through a magazine.  It was so worth it – I have a new recipe for tea brack and I have discovered there is a new book I want to buy, although it’s still only being written.  It seems that Joanne Harris is currently writing a prequel to Chocolat.  Mind you it seems that the kindle edition of Blackberry Wine is 99c/p on Amazon ’til the end of March – I’ll have that, Thank You Very Much!!

On that note, I’m off to sit on the sofa and watch Pride & Prejudice – the entire 1995 mini series – well what else would you be doing on a Sunday?

BTW the recipe was in the March issue of the Country  Living magazine

 

Bloggage · Books · general · Life

I’ve Been To The Library

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I always thought that I was bad at blogging because I had a boring life.  Well recently I’ve been doing THINGS so it seems I’m just really rubbish at writing about it!  I’m not going to list off all of the things I’ve been doing –  in fairness it’s not really a long list, but it’s more than two things so that definitely constitutes as being a list right?

Today I took the day off work to go and get my eyes tested.  It seems my vari-focals will see me through for another year or two and after that I’m reverting back to single vision lens because I tend to use my reading glasses for all things bar seeing.   My eyes are complicated – long sighted/shortsighted/astigmatism <- I should point out that I do only have two eyes but one of them has two defects, just in case you were getting carried away with notions.  When I was finished with the opticians I decided to drop into the library.  Now this is no longer my local library – but it was when I was growing up and I remember the joy of being able to go from taking books out upstairs in the children’s section to taking out books from the grown-ups library downstairs.  Of course all of that has changed now but the memories were wonderful.  I went in and although it’s smaller, it definitely felt like they had more books than my local disappointment.  I decided to take out a book anyway – I mean, how daring!  and yes it does mean I have to go back and return it in a few weeks but that’s no great hardship really – ok maybe the parking is – but…

The book-du-jour is “A Nice Cup of Tea” by Celia Imrie

A Nice Cup of Tea

I’ve listened to the Audio books of the other two in the series and they were lovely!  “Not Quite Nice” & “Nice Work (If You Can Get It)” were both read by the author herself and believe me when I say she really has the voice for audio books – absolutely delicious!  This trilogy (so far a trilogy) is about a group of British Ex-Pats, plus Carol the American, all living in Bellevue-sur-Mer, along the coast from Cannes.  I don’t want to spoil it but it’s basically about their friendships and adventures.  I’m almost tempted to compare it to the Famous Five, if they had all retired to the south of France.  The south of France is also why there’s so many plays on the Nice and the British nice.

Anyway – I’m off to put the kettle on, this has put me in the mood for a nice cup of tea, and I’ve a book to be reading!

 

 

general · Life

My Mediocre Year

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I know you might think that is a tad negative but believe me that’s me bigging it up.  There’s a lot of round-ups of the year that was etc so I thought that I’d hop on the bandwagon.

For me 2023 was a year that went by and I’m not sure what it was that I did for 365 days.  Work wise, we had somebody go out sick, which meant that a my work became that little bit more stressful fairly early on, and it just didn’t seem to recede back to what was previously normal.  Technically I’ve stepped up to the challenge etc but I’d now like it if I could gift wrap it all up and hand it back.

Another draw back to work challenges was the inability to take time off, however, this was also a result of being the carer of a deaf and demented cat.  Should I want to go away, I would have needed somebody to come and babysit ’cause despite being 17 she was my baby.  Sadly she (Oscar) passed away in October leaving me alone in the apartment for the first time ever.  Prior to her passing, I had two family funerals to attend, one was a cousin – She was my first cousin once removed – otherwise known as my dads first cousin – she was a lovely woman, and whilst nobody deserves it, she most certainly didn’t.  After that, there was my Uncle, he was my Godfather and I was fond of him, but I really was a terrible niece.  I hadn’t been to visit in years- but covid played a part in that.  His death was unexpected and I think that was better, it was sudden and he hadn’t been ill – by which I mean terminally ill.  It did lead to a bit of a tiff with my sister – I won’t say it’s resolved but we have moved on.

So what about me?  Well I essentially spent my time either working or after work just looking after the cat and waiting for the time to pass so that the next day would arrive.  Once I was left in the apartment, it’s taken time to readjust.  Sometimes things have just occurred to me and I have to wonder why didn’t I think of it before – which is rather comical.  I was at a craft morning and I was wondering how do all of the ladies get the time to start and finish so many projects???  Of course then it hit me that – they are either retired or they do it in the evening – and I realised, I no longer had a cat to dominate my time – so now I’ve been doing a lot more crochet.  I’m really rather pleased about that.

And what do I intend to do?  I’m not entirely sure – there’s so many things that I want to do, however I can safely say that consistency is not my middle name!  I’d like to get back to walking, I’d like to attempt to learn to knit, I want to improve my photography – or at least my ability to see a photographic opportunity.  I’ve started to follow an instagram account – it’s a lady that who is advocating that you wear the sparkle, and while I’m not a sparkle wearer, I am going to embrace the wear the nice clothes and not just keep them for Sunday best as it were.  When I’m working from home, there are times when the bar is very low and I’m just happy to be dressed – so yes – 2024 embrace the sparkle.  I also want to start to cook – previously I think you could describe my culinary attempts at simply heating something in order to eat.  Lets face it that can be demoralising – especially if you’re also dressed like swamp monster.  It’s sending subliminal messages that you don’t matter.

So 2024 will involve, good food, good mood – indulging in hobbies – I might even remember to post here

What are you planning to do in the New Year?

Bloggage · Celebration · general · Life · Mental health · Notions

Let Me Inspire You

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The other day I was reading a substack.  The author was saying how in general she doesn’t compare herself with others – and yes I can identify with that notion – I’m happily playing away at being me, because although we are all the same, we are different.  The author also decided that this steadfast reluctance to compare herself to others was impacting her negatively – she found that although she enjoyed doing the things that she does, she was reluctant to write or publicise it because there are others out there doing exactly the same, but doing it better.  This I can truly identify with.  I know my limits, I know what I can and can’t do – I know where my finesse ends!.

There’s a world of blogs out there that you can dive into and love, well I’ve decided to blog so that you can look at this and say, you know what? I can do better than this.  You see I’m happy with my limits, and pushing to expand them a little every so often, but there are people out there that do want a push, that do feel the need to try and produce things they are proud of.  If I was to think that way, I’d be stuck in a paralysis because my talent falls well short of my minds eye.

So in future, if you like what you see, but thing that you can do better – then do it!  Seriously, just do it!  If I can produce this then I know that you can do it so much better.  Break out your flat lays, construct your photos, write your reviews (mine mainly consist of yes or no and let’s face it – that doesn’t really count – it barely has a word count!), show us what you’ve been working on – I’ve been working on a blanket for the last year and I’ve only done about 25 rows!.

It’s just about finding your voice.  I love the word JUST as if it’s the simplest thing in the world!  In a year and a half I’ll be 50, I’ve been married, and now separated. I never had children, but did have 4 cats.  I’ve loved and experienced the heartbreak that lurks in the shadows.  However I’m only now starting to have the courage to be me, it’s taken a lot and I still haven’t really gotten there – so in fairness there’s no JUST about it – but it’s still something that needs to be done.

So there you have it.  I’m going to be ordinary, so you can shine.  I’m happy to trundle along slowly improving (or not) but I’ve decided not to be ashamed of being ordinary because there’s billions of us out there and it’s not really a bad thing.

Bloggage · general · Home · Life · Mental health · Notions · Seasons

Sitting in the Shade

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It’s just after 8am and I’m out in the garden with the laptop and a coffee.  I think this is the hour that everybody seems to emerge – I can hear windows opening and voices – chattering about what needs to happen in order for the day to start.  The dogs have been left outside, they too, are chatting over the garden fences.  It’s the same every morning, an unconscious way of marking what time it is.  The various different birds flying about and singing in their dawn chorus are joined by aeroplanes.  I see their con trails in the sky – why has that reminded me of slugs and snails? – when I can’t see them like the birds, I can hear them somewhere high above and off in the distance.

Because of the angle of the building, I have a choice, I can sit in a warm sunny carpark or sit in a slightly colder shaded garden.  I’ve picked the garden, nobody goes near me.  The closest I have to that are the bees who are investigating the raspberries.  They’re not in the lavender yet, although I can smell it sometimes if the breeze goes in the right direction. I’m waiting for the honeysuckle, now that is a beautiful smell.
Occasionally I will be joined by the cat but this morning she has chosen to go back to bed.  I will probably make the same choice when I’m her age.  But for now, for this season, for this day, I chose to get up earlier and and enjoy the sounds.   It’s a gentle way to start the day and for that I’m lucky.  There’s no hurry hurry hurry.  It’s strange that 30mins less time in bed gives my day much more than 30mins extra.
Bloggage · general · Home · Instagram · Life · Music · Photography · Rain · rain · Seasons · Weather

Rainy Days

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This is probably a post that should be over on the blog with the photos, but I decided that this was the place I wanted it to be.

I love nothing more than a rainy day.  It’s even better if I’m sitting inside – a cup of tea in hand, cosy socks and slippers – if it’s in the cooler months, add a warm jumper or oodie – maybe watching some old film.  It all invokes that mood of being cocooned and safe.  It’s possibly part of that Hygge definition – that cosiness is highlighted against the not so cosy weather outside.

The above is the stereotypical notion of being indoors when it’s raining.  However, for me, I like to sit next to the window – if there’s a stair to be sat on that’s a double win, but I like to be next to the window to watch the rain.  Not the rain outside, but the raindrops coursing down the window.  It’s hypnotic.  It allows the mind to wander away and come back to what’s in front of you.  Watching how each trickle can distort the background, how some will join up and become larger and change the pattern it leaves behind.

I love the comfort and the solitude it invokes.

This little video/reel was recorded one evening, using the time-lapse option on my phone.  I like the increased sense of movement that you don’t always get with rain – and because it was still early evening the light outside was sill bright enough to see beyond the window.  So click on it – press play and enjoy the clip of music that it going with it.