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Starting the Summer

It’s the May Bank Holiday Weekend – although I will admit that I woke this morning wondering if it really was a bank holiday or should I be getting up to go to work, but I think that’s a normal reaction.  Anyway – May, Summer – I had a productive day on Saturday – I had my car’s NCT at 9am – What was I thinking of??  9am!  on a Saturday!  A few years ago, I got caught in traffic and ever since then I’ve arrived early – so I was done and dusted at the time the appointment was due – how cool was that!  Anyway – I didn’t pass but didn’t exactly fail it either – a light wasn’t working so I’d to get it fixed and I could go back for a visual inspection.  I went to Ikea and spent like it was going out of fashion on knick knacks – I only went for cake and a charger cable but why stop there??  Anyway – went to the garage to see when they could fit me in to get the light sorted – as luck would have it they took a quick look and it seems nothing needed to be done – it was simply that something had popped out of place and once it was put back, all was well – so straight back to the NCT centre, had the visual, got my certificate.  I’m really pleased as the car is 21 yrs old and she’s still going grand!

I came home had cake and decided that the weather had been fine long enough to cut the grass or in my case, dandelion patch – and that’s what I did – it makes such a difference it really does – and I took it as my cue to move the garden bench – in the colder months it’s kept on the path by the wall of the house, but during the summer I move it so that it’s back is to the shed and it’s sheltered by the honeysuckle.  Yesterday (Sunday) there were noises in the garden – I was terrified it was a rodent having some sort of shouting match but it was a load of starlings feeding on whatever was coming through on the garden – it was fascinating to see.  Also when I say starlings – that’s me having a guess…

I actually spent all of yesterday (Sunday) indoors because I’d finally gotten time to read and this was a book I couldn’t put down, so that was me ignoring the outside world for a few hours.  I am actually really happy about that – it’s not that it doesn’t happen that often but I’m a bad reader and it takes me an age to get through books but this was one of the few where I simply had to keep reading until it was finished – the disappointment in it, was that it finished and as it was alluded to the book – that there is always an aftermath and we don’t get to see it.  Anyway – the book was The Wilding by Ian McDonald – it’s categorised as horror but I’m not a horror reader so I’m not sure how deep into the genre it is – I can’t say it was fantasy although it did contain the fantastical – it had the catastrophe and the survival flight or fight – funnily it reminds me of John Wyndham.  Sorry that’s just my thoughts running away with me – but now that the book is finished I’ll have to bring it back to the library.

Keeping me company while I read was the neighbours cat – she came in and curled up on the desk chair and was most reluctant to leave when I eventually evicted her at 8pm.  She’s also the reason I thought rodent in the garden rather than birds – I’ve seen her on occasion passing by with a mouth full of mouse!

This morning I had notions about this post – there was even thoughts of a photo but that didn’t happen ’cause I tend to eat the food and rarely remember to photograph it even if I had intended to do so.  So starting the summer – breakfast outside on the bench listening to the birds and as I was a bit late it also involved a child having great fun playing in their garden somewhere down the road.  The sunshine and the not warm but not cold morning – a lovely air that refreshes but doesn’t invigorate too much.  It’s the one thing that I love – to sit out on the bench having breakfast listening for the sounds and the silence.  If the weather holds over the next while, it will be a mix of the mornings and evenings after work, listening to all of the voices enjoying the outside – looking around and seeing how the flowers are growing and changing (flowers = raspberries, black currants, agapanthus, lavender, holly and of course dandelions).  There is something so peaceful about just sitting out when the weather allows.  So now that the bench is in Summer position it’s time to start getting outside.

Bloggage · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography · Rain · Weather

Encounters

Why did I let my neighbour erode my joy? Ok – scene – my apartment faces out to a carpark – that’s a spot of exaggeration – my apartment is built behind a row of houses and all the houses have their parking spaces at the back – so the view from one side of the apartment is all cars.  So headlights going on can blind you if you look the wrong way at the wrong time.  By now I’m used to it. Anyway – last year I said to a neighbour, if she sees me taking a photo of her car, I’m not really – I just like the way the headlights catch the light on the road after the rain.  If she thinks I’m being weird, don’t worry.  Now between the light changing and the weather not being what I’d like, curtains being pulled and not having a camera at the ready, I simply haven’t taken the photo – despite looking out the window several times and thinking oh that would have been nice. YESTERDAY! Yesterday I spotted that she had come back and then went out – which meant that she’d be coming back and it had been raining.  So I ran to get my camera – couldn’t get it to do what I wanted so decided the phone was probably the handiest, and all I had to do was wait for her to come back!  She came back and I grabbed my chance. As I finished she beeped, and I went out to her.  She asked what was I doing?  Of course me taking the photo means something to me – me telling her, I’ll take a photo of something, it’s not going to stay in her memory because it’s of no consequence.  So she insisted on me showing her the photo and looked at me as if I was making problems and told me I was crazy and repeated that as she walked away with an annoyed demeanour. I felt at a loss, to be told you’re crazy as in wacky fun etc is ok but to be told you’re crazy like it’s a bad thing, is not nice- it bothered me for the entire evening.  To make matters worse – it was also a rubbish photo – even by my standards.  It’s encounters like this that tend to make me go into myself, to hide away, to hide my interests, to hide who I am, to hide what I like.  So my next challenge to try and not let it upset me too much (- I won’t kid myself and say at all) I don’t take many photos for various reasons but I do love it, I wish I was better at it, in so many different ways – so the trick will be to continue to try to do the thing that I love. I know it’s just a misunderstanding – her of me and most likely me of her. This is the best I could do, out of sorts and just not feeling the love –
Bloggage · Photography · Seasons · Weather

Frosty Mornings

For the last few days it’s been a bit cold – not as cold as it could be in fairness.

There is something so delicate about frost, everything looks blasted and could snap if you touch it.

This was taken this morning

Bloggage · craft · Holidays · Life · Mental health · Notions · Photography

Self Confidence / Self Belief

I’ve been trying to unpick this for a while and I’m not really getting anywhere, so I think I can say this is going to be a rambling.

I went on holiday recently and although I brought my camera but I didn’t take photos – well I took 4 or 5 but it was more a figuring out how to use the camera type of photo, not a photographing something for my memories.  Why??

I think that if you were to meet me you would not think I am shy – my mother sent me to the Girl Guides and drama classes in the hopes that it would help, it did in a manner of speaking.  But I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to be noticed, doesn’t want to take up too much space.  I can’t handle criticism and I definitely don’t want praise.  The people who are most likely to do either, are people close to me, if they criticise I feel I have let them down and if they praise, I feel it’s too biased (we’ve all seen those talent shows where the parents think their child is the best thing since sliced bread, when they obviously aren’t).  I’ve also been a victim of the “Oh you should photograph this, no do it this way” by people who aren’t actually taking photos.  I say victim…. and yes, I’m busy trying to find my own way, but people in all of their oblivious good will, have steered me off of my own course and made me doubt myself.  I’m thinking, why is what I was doing not right? Why can’t I just turn around and say it’s of no interest to me, why don’t you take the photo?  Mind you that last sentence wouldn’t even have occurred to me a few years ago, I’d have just been a sheep being leeched of self-confidence.  Ok I have never said that sentence but at least it has occurred to me.

I also think that I have a slight touch of the autism – I haven’t had a diagnosis and I’m not interested in one, I am what I am and I work within my limitations.  One of those limitations is, I find it difficult to create.  I can recreate, that’s no bother ( again within the limitation of talent ) but initiating almost puts me into a paralysis – I know I want to do something but it’s behind frosted glass.  Because of this, crochet is easy because it predominantly relies on patterns, cooking less so, it has recipes but I can’t adjust them, however, Photography has too many obstacles for me.  Personality, mental capabilities, talent limits all conspire against me.  

I have a good camera, so the automatic assumption is, you must be a photographer – or is that something that is just in my head?  Anyway – I’m not, when I get a good photo it’s an accident.  On the other hand I’m not looking to take good photographs – I’m looking to be snap happy on my holidays but that means being seen and taking up space.  If I want to improve, that means practice, which means going out and taking photos…

So while I have a vague idea of what is the issue – me & my head, I’m not entirely sure how to get beyond it.  I might have to start with something that could almost be pre starting-line.  I might have to start wearing the camera outside and feel comfortable being seen with it.  

(I should also point out that I’m not confident to take up space while using my phone camera either)  

Maybe I should just put my earphones / earplugs in and become oblivious to everything around me and that might help me…

(Actually that’s a rather good idea to try!)

Bloggage · general · Home · Instagram · Life · Music · Photography · Rain · rain · Seasons · Weather

Rainy Days

This is probably a post that should be over on the blog with the photos, but I decided that this was the place I wanted it to be.

I love nothing more than a rainy day.  It’s even better if I’m sitting inside – a cup of tea in hand, cosy socks and slippers – if it’s in the cooler months, add a warm jumper or oodie – maybe watching some old film.  It all invokes that mood of being cocooned and safe.  It’s possibly part of that Hygge definition – that cosiness is highlighted against the not so cosy weather outside.

The above is the stereotypical notion of being indoors when it’s raining.  However, for me, I like to sit next to the window – if there’s a stair to be sat on that’s a double win, but I like to be next to the window to watch the rain.  Not the rain outside, but the raindrops coursing down the window.  It’s hypnotic.  It allows the mind to wander away and come back to what’s in front of you.  Watching how each trickle can distort the background, how some will join up and become larger and change the pattern it leaves behind.

I love the comfort and the solitude it invokes.

This little video/reel was recorded one evening, using the time-lapse option on my phone.  I like the increased sense of movement that you don’t always get with rain – and because it was still early evening the light outside was sill bright enough to see beyond the window.  So click on it – press play and enjoy the clip of music that it going with it.

 

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A grand cup of tea

www.facebook.com/677287782/posts/10152459424452783/

She might be gone but she’ll never be forgotten- my lovely little Pip helping herself to an unguarded mug of tea 😸

Bloggage · Instagram · Links · Not Taken By Me · Photography · Social Media

4 on Instagram

Every Saturday morning I go through my instagram feed for the week, this is no small endeavour!  Here is a selection of 4 – I love the way they dress their photos and their lighting is exquisite, they make me smile 🙂

@localmilk

@silverpebble

@zynp

@permillion44

 

 

Personal blogs of the ladies above:

Zynp365
SilverPebble etsy
Local Milk
Sadly nothing for Permillion44

Bloggage · Life · Photography

If I Was A Cat I’d Purr

There are two things I love about getting my hair cut:-

  1.  Somebody washing my hair.  As the title suggests it really would make me purr, if I won the lottery this would be my luxury – having somebody wash my hair.  There is something so soothing about it.
  2. I no longer do a rather good impression of an old English Sheepdog  – think Dulux Dog!

As part of the eternal list of things I like, yesterday I got my hair cut.

Here’s how it turned out – I’m also rather impressed with the photos – who knew it was difficult to photograph the back of your own head!!

 

Bloggage · Celebration · Life · Photography · Weight Watchers

Cake!

I read in a book recently that it helps to make lists of things that make you happy in an effort to boost your mood.  So I thought that as this blog is about things that make me smile, why not use it to boost my mood – your mood even.

Today is Thursday.  For me Thursday was has been the day I treat myself.  Twice in the last week I’ve seen the phrase of Cheat Day – I don’t think of it as cheat – more treat.  All week long I’ve had a longing on me for a cream cake but I resisted, knowing that I would have it on Thursday.  Had I had it when I originally wanted it, I probably wouldn’t have stopped at one!  So as a reward for not going over the top – today I had a cream donut and it was delicious!

CAKE
I wonder what will be next weeks reward…

Bloggage · Not Taken By Me · Photography · Reading

Felix, Gladys & Rover by Elliott Erwitt

I came across this photo the other day and it definitely made me smile!

Felix, Gladys and Rover

 

This photo was taken by Elliott Erwitt