Tag: Mental health

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Decisions

MsWalshLeave a comment
This is just a small follow up from the post on the 25th of Jan – It’s time to nuke my X/Twitter accounts – I’ve two – one where I’m me and one where I’m not me and therefore a little bit more me. Yes I know that makes no sense whatsoever!  So a quick explanation – on my This Is Deirdre accounts all over the internet – there is a social circle of people I know and they know me (they think). but the thing is I have very thin skin and find ribaldry difficult.  So if I say that I like something and somebody takes the mick and makes fun of that – I’ll just never mention it again because I just don’t want to have to put up with that.  So in order for me to like what I like without have to put MY head above the parapet, I found another name and that profiles likes the things that i like without the fear of ridicule from my friends and acquaintances.  Funnily the ridicule of strangers doesn’t bother me – I just think who the hell are you – and Blocked.  So I have ME and a me in a few places. For now it’s X that’s getting targeted.  I know lots of people have deleted their accounts – well we’re all on Bluesky so a sidestep and keep moving forward – actually Bluesky (https://bsky.app) is waaay better!  I’ve kept both X accounts for different reasons – the ME account – I’m not sure why I just haven’t – I suppose it’s ’cause there are people on there that I like to follow – so yeah I’ve been reluctant – I’ve had the account for YEARS – just checked – I joined in 2009 – now in fairness I’m not a prolific user so my absence won’t make an overall difference.  I’ve had the me account since 2013 – and that was even less of a user – but this one was kept because of one single tweet I made and didn’t want to lose.   Sentimental isn’t even in it!! For the past few weeks I’ve been watching the absolute CarCrash that is America and I just can’t be part of X.  I just can’t.  Everything I’ve read has just given me anxiety – I really think that there will be boots on the ground before his 4 years are up – and the 22nd amendment will have been shredded – I hope I’m wrong – I hope I’m very very wrong.  Last night I decided it’s time – X has to go and so this morning I’ve requested my data and while I’m waiting for that to come in – I’ll go through my follow lists and see if I can find folk elsewhere.  Once my data is secured, the accounts and the apps are all going to be deleted. Like I said in the overall scheme of things it makes no difference – however it does mean that I can look myself in the eye and know that I’m taking a small stand. I’ve also downloaded all of my books from Amazon so that they are mine and not under the control of somebody else’s decisions as to what is and isn’t appropriate, what cover should be on it etc.  I think the only time I’ll be using Amazon for shopping will be to source something and go directly to the shop or the author etc to purchase.  Jeff Bezos doesn’t need my few quid (again not exactly a prolific user) but it soothes my soul.  Mind you the ebooks might be a bit of an issue – I’ll work on it. I’m also contemplating jettisoning my gmail accounts – the me & ME – so I’m investigating alternatives – for my I’m looking to go a bit more Eurocentric ’cause I’m not liking the way the Tech bros are all queuing up.  It’s making me feel a bit queasy and uneasy – so right now I’m looking at what https://european-alternatives.eu/  has to offer.  I think I don’t mind paying a minimum fee and having secured rights.  Again like I said – it’s all being looked at. Is this all a knee jerk reaction – possibly. Is it an exaggerated reaction – no I’ve long wanted to make my internet a little bit more Europe based/Europe Sponsored so it’s time – it’s the push I’ve needed.
Bloggage · Celebration · general · Life · Mental health · Notions

Let Me Inspire You

MsWalshLeave a comment

The other day I was reading a substack.  The author was saying how in general she doesn’t compare herself with others – and yes I can identify with that notion – I’m happily playing away at being me, because although we are all the same, we are different.  The author also decided that this steadfast reluctance to compare herself to others was impacting her negatively – she found that although she enjoyed doing the things that she does, she was reluctant to write or publicise it because there are others out there doing exactly the same, but doing it better.  This I can truly identify with.  I know my limits, I know what I can and can’t do – I know where my finesse ends!.

There’s a world of blogs out there that you can dive into and love, well I’ve decided to blog so that you can look at this and say, you know what? I can do better than this.  You see I’m happy with my limits, and pushing to expand them a little every so often, but there are people out there that do want a push, that do feel the need to try and produce things they are proud of.  If I was to think that way, I’d be stuck in a paralysis because my talent falls well short of my minds eye.

So in future, if you like what you see, but thing that you can do better – then do it!  Seriously, just do it!  If I can produce this then I know that you can do it so much better.  Break out your flat lays, construct your photos, write your reviews (mine mainly consist of yes or no and let’s face it – that doesn’t really count – it barely has a word count!), show us what you’ve been working on – I’ve been working on a blanket for the last year and I’ve only done about 25 rows!.

It’s just about finding your voice.  I love the word JUST as if it’s the simplest thing in the world!  In a year and a half I’ll be 50, I’ve been married, and now separated. I never had children, but did have 4 cats.  I’ve loved and experienced the heartbreak that lurks in the shadows.  However I’m only now starting to have the courage to be me, it’s taken a lot and I still haven’t really gotten there – so in fairness there’s no JUST about it – but it’s still something that needs to be done.

So there you have it.  I’m going to be ordinary, so you can shine.  I’m happy to trundle along slowly improving (or not) but I’ve decided not to be ashamed of being ordinary because there’s billions of us out there and it’s not really a bad thing.